it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
