It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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