i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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