i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
