ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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