You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
