I wish i was in the wii world.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
