____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
