I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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