haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
