I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
