if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize