garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You smell like a Billy Joel song
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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