I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
