last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
