i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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