one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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