It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
