to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
