my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize