this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
