She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
