so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
