i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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