that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
