Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
