How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
