Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize