I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
