i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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