Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
