So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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