Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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