you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
