Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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