You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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