Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
