Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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