and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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