you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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