I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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