eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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