Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
