Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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