sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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