Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
