you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Even my vagina gasped.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
