when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
