Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
