I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
