Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Boobs are out for the taking
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize