True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
