Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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