careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
