i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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