I feel like abortions should bother me more
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how drunk are you?
Several
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
