Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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