I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
