it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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