I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm getting married
To pizza
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
