these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
