please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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