the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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