Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
