I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
