we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
