I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize