what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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