tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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