I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
