no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
