is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize