in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
