it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
