I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
