At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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