i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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