Cold hands, warm shart.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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