Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
