id be glad to
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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