I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
