funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
