u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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