so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
