this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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