redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
