So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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