handjob tips. give me some.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
