sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
