I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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