You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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