i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize