Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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