all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
